Director:Tom Putnam
Writer (WGA):Heidi Ferrer (written by)
Release Date:21 February 2008 (Russia)
Genre:Comedy | Romance
Writer (WGA):Heidi Ferrer (written by)
Release Date:21 February 2008 (Russia)
Genre:Comedy | Romance
Cast :
Paris Hilton... Cristabel Abbott
Joel Moore... Nate Cooper (as Joel David Moore)
Christine Lakin... June Phigg
Johann Urb... Johann Wulrich
Adam Kulbersh... Cole Slawsen
The Greg Wilson... Arno Blount
Marianne Muellerleile... Mrs. Blount
Kathryn Fiore... Jane
Review :
Let's say you're the kind of 13-yr.-old boy who's amused by farting and titillated by verbal sexual references; or perhaps you're a 13-year-old girl who adores Paris Hilton simply because she is what she is (i.e., a rich and arguably attractive celebrity with a purported sense of fashion and a party hearty philosophy of life). In either of these instances this movie might, and I stress MIGHT, represent an entertaining way for you to spend an hour and a half of your young, frivolous, misguided life. But that's only if you can endure the meticulously-crafted gross-out makeup effects employed in the epic uglying-up of actress Christine Lakin, who plays the "nottie" of the title, June Phigg.
Hairy facial moles and rotting teeth are one thing, but infected toenails mistaken for hors d'oeuvres are another entirely. (Yikes!) As producer Hadeel Reda states in the promotional notes, "I love gross-out comedies that test the boundaries of taste." Congratulations, Hadeel: you've produced one.
Before delving into story specifics, let me take this opportunity to point out that Ms. Hilton is far from being the weakest spar in this entertainment rigging. In fact, her performance benefits from clear enunciation and a spotless complexion as she basks in the soft focus of the slo-mo Greek Goddess cam, which periodically pans from her toes to her head during episodes in which she is briefly - if elegantly - attired.
Yes, Cole Slawson, you've just nibbled on an infected toenail. (You poor bastard.)
Yes, Cole Slawson, you've just nibbled on an infected toenail. (You poor bastard.)
Unfortunately, the lines Ms. Hilton (in character as hottie Cristabelle Abbott) is forced to enunciate during the course of the movie include:
"A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers," and:
"Some people think our bodies are like an earth suit."
... at which point we begin to wonder whether an earth suit (of the six feet under variety) might have been the best choice of enclosure for the working script.
Just as in the case of its Oscar-worthiness, the film's title also serves as an accurate predictor of its plot. What we have here is a seriously gorgeous young woman (Cristabelle) who - improbably - bonds for life with a seriously hideous one (June), whose physiognomy sports the kinds of specifics already detailed.
Blend in an old grade-school classmate still harboring a crush on Cristabelle in the person of Nate Cooper (portrayed by Joel Moore, who bears a passing resemblance to a Gilligan's Island era Bob Denver); add a dash of Nate's unlikely mentor Arno Blount (The Greg Wilson), who still lives at home with his snack food-pushing mom while dispensing advice about women; plug in male model/reconstructive dental surgeon Johann (Johann Urb) to serve as a romantic competitor in the quest for the hottie's dubious favors, and you've got a prescription for... well... something that professes to downplay stereotypes of physical beauty while actually reinforcing them.
Emblematic of the attention to detail bestowed on this mess, Arno (The Greg) can't even be bothered to pronounce the nottie half of the titular couplet correctly: he refers to June Phigg as an example of that ever-present "naughty" who stands between hotties and those attempting to woo them (in some fractured fairy tale realm, I suppose) - which of course would put an entirely new spin on the story. If the June Phigg character had actually turned out to be naughty, we'd have been subjected to a grisly, cringe-inducing horror tale as opposed to a grisly, cringe-inducing romantic comedy.
Hairy facial moles and rotting teeth are one thing, but infected toenails mistaken for hors d'oeuvres are another entirely. (Yikes!) As producer Hadeel Reda states in the promotional notes, "I love gross-out comedies that test the boundaries of taste." Congratulations, Hadeel: you've produced one.
Before delving into story specifics, let me take this opportunity to point out that Ms. Hilton is far from being the weakest spar in this entertainment rigging. In fact, her performance benefits from clear enunciation and a spotless complexion as she basks in the soft focus of the slo-mo Greek Goddess cam, which periodically pans from her toes to her head during episodes in which she is briefly - if elegantly - attired.
Yes, Cole Slawson, you've just nibbled on an infected toenail. (You poor bastard.)
Yes, Cole Slawson, you've just nibbled on an infected toenail. (You poor bastard.)
Unfortunately, the lines Ms. Hilton (in character as hottie Cristabelle Abbott) is forced to enunciate during the course of the movie include:
"A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers," and:
"Some people think our bodies are like an earth suit."
... at which point we begin to wonder whether an earth suit (of the six feet under variety) might have been the best choice of enclosure for the working script.
Just as in the case of its Oscar-worthiness, the film's title also serves as an accurate predictor of its plot. What we have here is a seriously gorgeous young woman (Cristabelle) who - improbably - bonds for life with a seriously hideous one (June), whose physiognomy sports the kinds of specifics already detailed.
Blend in an old grade-school classmate still harboring a crush on Cristabelle in the person of Nate Cooper (portrayed by Joel Moore, who bears a passing resemblance to a Gilligan's Island era Bob Denver); add a dash of Nate's unlikely mentor Arno Blount (The Greg Wilson), who still lives at home with his snack food-pushing mom while dispensing advice about women; plug in male model/reconstructive dental surgeon Johann (Johann Urb) to serve as a romantic competitor in the quest for the hottie's dubious favors, and you've got a prescription for... well... something that professes to downplay stereotypes of physical beauty while actually reinforcing them.
Emblematic of the attention to detail bestowed on this mess, Arno (The Greg) can't even be bothered to pronounce the nottie half of the titular couplet correctly: he refers to June Phigg as an example of that ever-present "naughty" who stands between hotties and those attempting to woo them (in some fractured fairy tale realm, I suppose) - which of course would put an entirely new spin on the story. If the June Phigg character had actually turned out to be naughty, we'd have been subjected to a grisly, cringe-inducing horror tale as opposed to a grisly, cringe-inducing romantic comedy.
MU
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